ordinary tuesday

Long weekend's around the corner Yayy !

For those of you who are involuntarily forced to be workaholic, you can finally take a breather from your routines and do work outs (watch that chair-hugging bum!), get those heels in your spring wish list, watch The Avengers (if you haven't gotten around to it yet, poor thing) and reserve a table in Negev for a dinner for two! Yess, long weekend's never overrated :)

This is a weekend to look up to for ma petite famille too :) - not that we're planning to do anything wild.

Mr. D, my pumpkin pie, me and the ever-faithful babysitter are going to Bali. This is our second time going to this world wide-known paradise in 6 months. Last time was in a December and it was raining a lot we couldn't enjoy the beach eventhough Kute Beach is literally across the road from the hotel we were staying in. Hope we've better luck this time. 

We're going this Friday with Nayra's grandmuff, grandpuff, and aunty Dedev. Her other aunt, aunty Devin and uncle Iben decided to take early leave from their offices and fly tomorrow to Bali, and take a ferry from there headed to Lombok. They're gonna meet us back in Bali on Friday.

Bad news, Nayra and I've still got the cold. But thank God it's nothing serious and we've still got two days to get back into our prime self and enjoy this vacay (fingers crossed :)

On another note, there's this song that's been going on and on in my head. Thanx to one of my bestie who did this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZNsD0B1KJU&feature=colike for a Charlie Challenge initiated by Dianna Agron, one of the now-not-so glorious Glee casts (how did Glee become so borrrringgg ??)

I love this number my bestie sang, and eventhough I know zero spanish (I have to google the lyrics obviously) I'm sure it's about something sexy and spirited like the flamenco. :D

Hope you enjoy it and add it to your playlist to accompany you through this weekend!
Kissessss XOXO

The rule of expectation

It was a long awaited sunday...

But when it's finally here, somehow things turned out worse than expected...

OH NOOOOO !

GOD, I've been neglecting this blog for wayyy tooo longgg! We've got billions of catching up to do! First things first. What year is it? Oh, I only missed two years of writing. So prepare for a full-on blogpost with 2011 and 2012 highlights! *drumrolllll*
Nahh, just kidding :p lucky for you, I'm not gonna bore you w details and dreadful, longggg post today hehe. Well at least...not today. But I do want to press the rewind button, just a minute or two for a start :)

In early 2011 I apparently wrote something out of habit in my notepad's cell for this blog. Later I realize it must've been my one of many ways to share and channel my overwhelming gratitude. Soo, care to a flashback? :) 

"My little kickboxer I told you about, has stepped her tiny (or judging from the size of her, her not so tiny) feet onto this world!! And it's hard to put in writing what I'm feeling right now but here goes my best. I'm overwhelmed by happiness, I feel blissful and grateful every second of every day, I feel like the room lights up when I look at that adorable face with those plump cheeks, I feel overjoyed even when I change her diapers, and I still marvel at how God put both my face and my better half's on that tiny (or again, not so tiny) face ♥♥ Alhamd she's the daughter I've been waiting for.." 

Until this day, that's still what I'm feeling. What changes is... Her ! These are the photos of her in her early months, up until month 3.

Nayra's Akikah

Nayra Sarah Dharmawan

Our little family, The Dharmawan :)

So that is SHE. The love of my life.... (and ppssstttt.. my very personal doll :) Forgive me for being such a proud mom, but don't you just wanna kidnap her, make a new birth certificate and claim her your own?? hhehehee

I've always wanted a baby girl first, cause aside from the dressing-up part I think I'm more prepared to raise a girl. I've always been somewhat girly, soo.. yeah. I like to dress nayra like I dress myself, and I loveee matching outfits! haha Nayra who was born on a Saturday, Dec 18th 2010 is now 16 months old, and she runs, dances, plays, calls everybody "mama" (cause that's the only word she's able to say.. for now), and she sure knows how to put on a show. Once she dances, she wants the world to see so she does it in front of everyone. Once she's done showing her moves to me, she goes and looks for her dad or drag my mom by the hand (who's busy cooking) to make them sit and watch her doing her thing haha.

On a friend's daughter's birthday party -
Aryaduta Hotel

Mama and Nayra

YESSSS, I can talk about her forever! But I think it's enough for a back-from-the-dead blog. See you around!
Kissessss XO

Eat Pray Love

Aside from the rich and witty writings, turns out this book written by Elizabeth Gilbert herself also has the best insights and the most inspirational sentences. I've already highlighted a few and here's one of them.

Taken from Book One- Italy:
"..when you sense a faint potentiality for happiness after such dark times you must grab on to the ankles of that happiness and not let go until it drags you face-first out of the dirt. This is not selfishness but obligation.

You were given life; it is your duty (and also your entitlement as a human being) to find something beautiful within life, no matter how slight."
-Eat Pray Love

Kissessss =D

two months back and two months ahead

wow, it's been two months since i last wrote here.

but hey, who said i would be an industrious blogger?

i'm simply too busy playing with my little kickboxer. (haha i know i'm such a snob)

well i just dropped in to say hi, and maybe let out a tiny anxiety about what i would face in less than 2 months. you know, giving birth. my baby. and everything. justtt a teeny bit.

or maybe not that teeny.

i'm still in this phase of evading any pictures of giving birth from entering my mind. i try not to think about it. not until i really have to. i'm eight months along now, and i still have a few weeks to spare, right.

ok enough about mommy-thingy.

i am in the middle of reading eat pray love by elizabeth gilbert. i'm such a slow reader but so far, i think i kinda like it. i kinda understand her writing style (not that i'm a writer . i wish haha) or maybe i kinda understand elizabeth (the main character) cause she's a true cancer just like myself.

i'm still in book one-italy now, and can barely wait till i get to book three which as you all know happens to capture the beautiful island and tradition of Bali, Indonesia.

oh i'm yawning now. i really should go to bed. i'll see u in the next post!

Kissessss XO

My very personal little nudger

Have I told you that being pregnant is the most wonderful feeling in the whole wide world?

Well I don’t know how it feels yet to be a mom, so I can’t compare it to being a mommy. But I’m confident for those who haven’t felt what it’s like being a mom, being pregnant is the best ever. Period.

Alhamdulillah I’m constantly happy.

Things got impossibly better a month ago. I went to a new obgyn. Again. For the fourth time. Not to mention this was the second hospital I went to. But I like my new obgyn, she’s much more communicative than the previous ones.

I wasn’t supposed to have another ultrasound thing at that appointment, but since this was a new obgyn she had to see my baby firsthand, right. And honestly I loooved it when they did the ultrasound cause I got to SEE my baby, a lovely tiny human inside my tummy, moving, kicking, playing with its hands, dancing, doing arabesque, doing pirouette… Who didn’t get a kick out of that?

Well cutting to the chase, when she was doing the ultrasound thing, checking up on my baby, I let out one single complain about how I still couldn’t feel my baby kicking and I was already 19 weeks and a half which was somewhat equal to 5 months right? Even Mr. D’s cousin who’s in her 16 weeks could feel her baby twitching and moving already. I felt it all right, but it felt only like subtle movement which I could easily misinterpret. It could had been just my too-desperate imaginary mind. And I was a month ahead of her. I should had been in a higher level right? But the obgyn soothed me by saying it was normal and it would happen in the next couple of days.

Next thing I knew, when I was on my way home from the hospital I felt a nudge in my tummy!!!!!

I’d known my baby had been smart but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t stop marveling at the fact that she-heard-me. She heard me saying that I wanted to feel her nudge and kick. And I couldn’t get over the fact that maybe she wanted to tell me that she was ok, to tell me not to worry, and that she wanted me to feel her too.
This is so overwhelming. Alhamd, I’m so blessed I know....

And oh, I’m itching to tell you something that lighted up my end of July even more. One of my bestfriend had to go on a business trip to none other than Hongkong Disneyland !

I - KNOW!

Who didn’t envy her? Haha. But before you decide to hate her, let me tell you, she deserved every minute of it there, and the best thing of all was she didn’t get me anything from there. She got MY BABY a little something instead! She got her Disney baby vests ! Not only it was her first Disney item, it’s also her first baby item cause following the tradition I hadn’t bought her anything cause she was still 5 months old (actually the tradition says till 7 months, but i think i should've got a gold medal just being able to hold it that long)

Easy to guess, seeing and feeling the mild fabric of those super cute vests, I couldn’t help but want more. Cause it made it all more real. I mean, not that I thought it was just all in my mind but looking at those tiny rompers I could picture there’s a tiny human snuggling in there.

THANK YOU SOO MUCH my dear anonymous bestie ☺ and oh, since I cant help myself, here’s a photo of me with the super tiny rompers =D

Too bad I didn’t get the chance to take a photo of them and this bestie of mine ☹

and oh forgot to mention, that i'm very happy she got the getaway she very much deserved. it was a business trip, but still ! it's Hongkong Disneyland ! haha

on almost the same note, another bestie of mine got my baby a cute little something too. God i have the most wonderful friends.

but her story freaked me out a little bit actually. we were hanging out in some mall, and she just realized that this particular mall had a very nice baby department called Miniapolis. after dinner, she dragged me all the way to this baby section, looking more excited than i was. we didnt go that far, cause as far as we reached the first store on our right she towed me by the hand, barged in, aaaaand she went nuts. she literally got five items in her hands in mere 10 minutes. and as she hurried to the cashier to pay for it all, i panicked. did she really want and NEED to buy those adorable rompers, babygros and super mini dresses with the matching bloomers? i was the only one who was expecting a baby. but YES, she really felt that it was necessary for HER to buy MY BABY those endearing baby stuff.

it got into a pretty long battle. me - furtively drooling over those unspeakable rompers - trying to make her see sense that she didn't need to buy them cause i knew already she loved my baby very much, her - obviously worshipping those darling rompers - rambling on about how darling they were. and oh, the saleslady, watching us with amused face.

so i let out my ultimatum. i told her that i would be mad if she made the purchase.

god forbid her to take me seriously :( but finally, she gave in and agreed on buying only ONE (there was no way she would go out of the store without one

so, here's a picture of her with the romper she finally picked.


again, THANK YOU SOO MUCH my dear bestie. si gemes and i love youuuu beautiful aunties :*

bestfriend in disguise

Do you realize that there are some things in life that feel strange but natural at the same time? That are extremely frightening but somehow we cant live without them? That sometimes we try so much to avoid yet they’re inevitable, like the need to breathe to keep ourselves alive, so you don’t have the convenience to choose otherwise?

You’re right, one of them is change.

One minute you put on your red-white elementary uniform to go to school and the next you slip on the first blouse you can reach in your walk-in to go to college (not that I have my own walk-in). One minute your mother is there escorting you to the dentist to get your baby tooth out and the next minute, there you are in the obgyn waiting room flicking through a book titled Sembilan Bulan yang Menakjubkan studiously. One minute you’re feeling absolutely fine and the next you feel the need to throw up every chance you get.

I know change is inevitable and we humans are used to it. Nothing new about it. And I wouldn’t even bring this topic up if not for the fact that these changes I’m going through now is affecting the life of a tiny person I love unconditionally whose life depends on me twenty four hours a day.

So these are the most recent changes in me:
1. My appetite.
It seems like it changes as often as I change my panties. Back when everything was normal, I lovedddd pasta. And I could never survive without snacks. Chips, muffin, yoghurt, crackers, you name it.
Recently I prefer Indonesian food. And my appetite for snacks is limited to those healthy snacks like fruits (thank God even though still in my tummy my baby already knows what kind of snack is better for her. Unlike her mom, huh)
And oh, my appetite has never been this big before. Cute baby, it seems like she’s constantly hungry.

2. My routine trivia.
I dab this certain cream with “smoothing out stretch mark cream” written in bold on the front, on certain parts of my body twice a day now. Got it from Mothercare. But I’m new in all this, so if any of you got better cream suggestion, would you be a dear and let me know what it is? Thanks :D

3. My wardrobe.
I literally am running out of clothes. Well I was a size S. Or XS. So basically my wardrobe consists of body fitted simple dresses. And you can see a lot of black in my closet. But now they simply no longer accommodate my growing tummy.
Of course for pregnant mommies, jeans are out of question right. And I still don’t have the guts to buy those maternity jeans cause somehow I feel like it confirms the fact that I’m going to be an IBU-IBU ☹ (ibu-ibu and mommy are two different things in my dictionary)
So this leaves me with close to zero to wear.

4. My music
I listen to compilations for pregnant mommies and Mozart at least for an hour every day. It’s refreshing actually – if you don’t hear the same songs over and over again for the past weeks, every single day haha. Maybe I should get some Bachs now?

There are still several numbers but I don’t think I need to write it all down here otherwise it’s going to be a very long post.

So Rrr yes. It doesn’t take a genius to see that I AM carrying. ☺ I’m 18-months pregnant now. It’s amazing and unbelievable. I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the concept sometimes. It’s just mind-boggling. Sometimes I giggle just looking at my growing tummy and picturing there’s a tiny baby snuggling in there. Nuts, I know. But hey, who can help it?

Alhamdulillah I’m loving these changes in me and the biggest part of it is because I get to do that for and with this new little person I’m so smitten with. This makes me euphoric most of the time even though these changes are all very strange and overwhelming for me.

Hey actually, we encounter these kinds of changes every day. Not exactly the same I know, but with the same magnitude. It can be the change with you now doing so well at work, with you being apart from your boyfriend who you used to see every day several months before, with you being a wedded wife and so on. Well you get the picture.

Change IS our bestfriend. So it would be best to treat her with love, respect, it would be wise to never ever take her for granted. So she will never turn her back on you. ☹ instead she’ll encourage you to grow up and give broader views that never occurred to you before. You can never appreciate how good things get if you haven’t felt what it’s like being so down you want to scream and run and be reincarnated as a whole new person, right?